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A Completely Normal Review of Cookie Run: Kingdom

The most confounding fact I’d learned about watermelons in the span of my life was that they originated from Egypt. Put concisely, the revelation was life-changing. I kept thinking about how this fruit that I’d known all my life likely had history stemming back to the Pharaohs who built the Pyramids of Giza. Here I was, just some guy who had built exactly zero pyramids and probably never would, of all things, in absolute awe at a fruit. It was humbling. But what does this have to do with a mobile game review?

I’m glad you asked. Discovering Cookie Run: Kingdom filled me with the same sense of wonder and amazement that watermelons did, admittedly, a sentence I never thought I would be writing. My first encounter with it was when I stole the editor in chief’s phone (similarly, she’s a fanatic) during a Sapphire meeting, like snot-nosed children do at family gatherings asking if you’ve got any games. On the surface, it was rather unremarkable. Becoming desensitised to the endless Raid: Shadow Legends ads plastered all over the internet, I had my reservations about another game with a colon in its name, which in and of itself is never a good sign. Regardless, I decided to give it a try. When the crux of your personal life revolves around napping and midnight snacks, it wouldn’t be for a lack of time if you decided not to try something new.

Cookie Run: Kingdom was released by entertainment company Devsisters in January 2021 and is the sixth game in the Cookie Run franchise, available on the iOS app store, Google Play and Galaxy Store. CRK had 10 million downloads within the first two months of its release and was downloaded over 150 million times in June of 2021 alone. But being a relatively newer game, not much can be found out about development times or other information besides what is public. With that out of the way, let’s get into the opinions.

MAN, this game is really, really good.

Right off the bat, you can just tell that everything in the game was made with love and care. Cookie Run: Kingdom is currently pitched in the app store as an RPG, but there are so many elements that limiting it to one definition simply doesn’t do it justice. The main gameplay centers around a tycoon where you gather money, produce goods, and upgrade buildings to develop your Cookie Kingdom. However, underneath that is a whole separate game that focuses on multiple storied campaigns, world exploration, as well as an online competition game mode. Besides those, there are special quests, events, bounties, and a lucky draw system, in case you thought Devsisters wasn’t going absolutely ham.

This is not to mention the objectively best part, being the characters. Or cookies. Cookie-aracters?

Anyway, there are over 60 chara-cookies in Cookie Run Kingdom. Each of them has unique designs, combat abilities, stats, rarities, and even backstories that link to the backstories of other cookies. It would be really difficult to overstate just how much depth there is to this game.

World exploration is divided into sub-worlds, each with a bunch of different levels, and you’ll assemble a team out of cookies in order to clear each stage. The story is well written if not a little goofy, but if you’re expecting Oscar-level screenwriting in a mobile game about gingerbread cookies, then you’ve got bigger problems to worry about.

Similarly, you can arrange teams to battle in the online multiplayer mode (or Kingdom Arena) to earn trophies and victory medals that you can use to buy all sorts of different things. If that’s not your speed, you can also create and join guilds with your friends to participate in group battles against powerful bosses. At the end of the day, even if you just want to relax and decorate a fictitious cookie kingdom, your bases are still covered.

There are hundreds of decor items available in the shop, and you can choose to use them however you like. One of the first things I did after realising this was creating a quaint little cult circle for my garden gnomes. If there’s something you want in a game, CRK probably already has it.

What I’m hoping you’ll see through all this praise is the core message, that this game slaps, and it slaps hard. Considering just how much content there is, it’s plain to see that a metric butt-ton of work went into making it the way it is, and for that it definitely deserves your attention. It’s varied, it’s addictive, and it straight up looks amazing.

In conclusion, I rate this game as very very cool. 4.5 sky blue classic crocs sandals out of 5, my final verdict on Cookie Run: Kingdom.


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